


I Won't Make You Fake ID's

by dalekanim



Series: Transcendence Fics [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Gravity Falls AU, Transcendence AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5580271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalekanim/pseuds/dalekanim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper/Alcor gets summoned by a couple of kids who want an easy ticket into a demonology convention. Contains very mild language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Make You Fake ID's

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally for a Transcendence AU prompt from tumblr user type40-awesmazing. If you don’t know what the Transcendence AU is, please see transcendence-au.tumblr.com. It’s wonderful and you’ll love it. Or it’ll eat your soul. Same thing.
> 
> Also, I snuck a couple of personal headcanons in here. Like that holding off a summoning does weird things, like cause uncontrollable sneezing or something. (If anyone’s read Kim Harrison, you’ll get the reference.) Anyway, a bit outlandish, but I had fun writing it.

“MABEL.”

Typically, sudden booming voices, flickering lights, and sudden drops in temperature would make a person jump, but as it were, Mabel Pines glanced languidly into the living room at the demon currently stomping his way through the house. “Hey, Dip-dip. What’s up?”

“This is the _ninth_ _time this week_. And it’s only _Wednesday_ ,” seethed the demon, pushing off from the ground to float the remainder of the distance to the kitchen. “What do people think they’re _doing_ -” He cut off abruptly and sneezed twice. Mabel laughed.

“You sneeze like a-”

“ _Do not say it_ ,” Dipper intoned, hovering over the table like a deranged balloon. “I can’t _believe_ someone is summoning me _again_ -” Cue another sneeze. “-and I’ve barely even been home for two _minutes_!”

“Blargh. I thought you were upstairs the whole time,” Mabel said cheerily, jabbing at her food intently. “Do you think this pancake looks enough like Wendy? Grunkle Stan is one matter, but Wendy’s a lot harder to-”

“ _Mabel_ ,” Dipper whined. “Somebody summoned me again just earlier! I mean, goodness forbid I sit down and take a breather every now and then-”

“Hey, bro-bro, with great power comes great demands! Or something like that.”

He sighed. “Responsibility. _Responsibility_ is the word you’re looking for, Mabel, and I-” Dipper sneezed abruptly, right over Mabel’s pancakes.

Mabel howled, shielding her pancakes and flailing her spatula at him. “Summoning! Go before you sneeze all over the kitchen!”

“Ugh,” Dipper grumbled, rubbing his nose. “ _Ugh_. Fine. I’ll just… go take care of that, then.” He grimaced, feeling another tug on his name. “ _Fine_. I’ll be back, Mabel.”

“Yup!” his sister chirped, spatula at the ready over another lump of pancake batter. “I’ll have dinner when you’re back!”

“Pancakes for dinner. Wonderful.”

-*-

Dipper closed his eyes and slowly released his grip on the present environment. Traveling demon-style was still a bit unnerving to him-after all, seeing the ground suddenly fall away beneath your feet tended to be a bit of a shock, especially the first few times-but he was getting better at it, he thought, as he felt himself automatically pulled toward the summonings. He could feel cities pass by as he let the summons do all the work, and in a blink of an eye, he was snuffing out the candles and floating up through the summoners’ circle, several feet in the air, raising his arms dramatically.

“ _WHO DARES SUMMON ALCOR THE DREAMBENDER, THE-_ ” He cut off abruptly as his hand hit a shelf, sending things flying. “ _THE-THE GREAT AND-_ ” Great, now he’d lost his opening lines. “ _THE-_ ” Several brushes bounced off his head and his hand sent a box of baking soda flying across the room, trailing white powder. “ _What the-?_ Is this-is this a _broom closet?_ ” he snarled.

He heard one of his summoners begin to stammer. “Uh-m-mayb-”

“ _HOW DARE YOU SUMMON ME INTO A BROOM CLOSET_ ,” Dipper yelled, coughing out baking soda and thrusting an arm to point in the general direction of the stammering. “ _THIS IS-oh, what is it?!_ ” he snapped as a chorus of panicked “Shhhh!’s” filled the small room.

“Don’t yell! They don’t know we’re-eek!” The person at the forefront squeaked as Dipper suddenly dropped down several feet so they were as close to nose-to-nose as the summoning circle would allow.

“Who, _exactly_ ,” Dipper asked chillingly.

“Er… the… the c-convention?”

Dipper floated there, staring the person down for a moment, until the young girl opened her mouth to speak.

“D-d-demonology convention?”

Dipper blinked. He’d heard of these conventions, but Mabel refused to take him to one (something about an _inflated ego_ ), and he didn’t see much of a point in going if he couldn’t even, say, _buy_ anything or _talk_ to anyone. He quickly cleared his throat. “Demonology convention. How _quaint_ ,” he said dryly, spitting out baking soda and hastily busying himself with dusting his suit off. “And for what purpose, exactly, would a group of summoners-amateurs, too, by the looks of it,” he muttered, nudging one of the mismatched candles with his toe, “be summoning an _all-powerful demon_ in a _broom closet_ at a _demonology convention?_ ” He swung around so he was nose-to-nose with his summoner again, causing her to yelp again.

“Um-I, or, uh, _we_ , that is, we-”

“ _Spit it out_ ,” Dipper said, voice echoing. The girl shrank, looking frightened. Admittedly, he occasionally-dare he admit it-liked freaking some people out during a summons, but maybe scaring the girl was going a bit far. He dropped down to the floor, boots clicking on the tile. “Well?”

She clutched her book to her chest, blinking at the sudden change in height (he’d been hovering at least three or four feet in the air with his head near the ceiling, after all). “Um-we want you to get us into the convention,” she said in a small voice.

“Y'see, we’re under 21. The only one that’s over 21 is Jenny, over there, and they won’t let ya in if you’re under,” said a voice from behind her. Dipper squinted-in the dim light, he could barely make out a few shapes. Snapping his fingers, the candles flared a bright blue before settling down.

“You want me to help you into a demonology convention,” he repeated, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes and surveyed his summoners. _Another couple of kids looking for fake IDs, then_. The girl who had presumably done the summoning was crouching in front of the circle, clutching her book; the tall girl who had spoken up was to her left, and two others huddled by the door. “Because you’re _underage_.”

“Um-um, yeah. I mean, we-we’ve put a lot of work into getting to go to this, and-”

“ _Quiet_ ,” Dipper said briskly. “Look, I know being a teenager is _tough_ , and all that, okay? I’m not making fake IDs for you, though. Go run home and drink a soda instead,” he muttered.

“Wh-what? We’re not trying to-to drink!”

“Mmhmm. Said the last couple of kids who summoned me. Seriously? Go ask an older sibling instead of _summoning a demon_ , perhaps,” he snapped, making his voice echo on the last few words and causing the group to jump.

“But we’re not trying to-!”

“Yeah. So you’re instead summoning a demon in a _broom closet_ ,” he scoffed. “What’s out there? Bar lobby?” He gestured at the door.

“You haven’t even heard what we’re offering!” One of the two in the back took a step forward.

“Doesn’t matter what you’re offering. What matters is what I’ll take,” Dipper said brusquely. “And right now, I’m not really feeling in the mood for-”

“We can prove it! Don’t make us IDs, then, just-just sneak us in! We’ll-uh-we’ll take you with us?”

Dipper raised his eyebrows. That wasn’t the usual plea of underage schmoozers. And if there _was_ a convention… Mabel wasn’t there. Hmm.

“Cory! What are you-”

“He won’t make us IDs! Lina, you _said_ you wanted to go-”

“I didn’t mean we would take _Alcor the demon_ gallivanting around a demonology convention!” snapped the tall girl.

“But-”

“ _Deal_ ,” Dipper boomed. All four of them jumped again.

“Um.” Cory-one of the people huddled in the back-took another step forward. “Wh-uh, wait a moment. You’ll sneak us in if we just… take you along?”

Dipper floated up again, leaned back as if reclining in a chair, and crossed his ankles. “Problem with that? I’ve never been to one,” he said honestly. “But.” He placed his fingertips together. “ _No ditching me, no running off_ , and…” He smirked. “I’ll need… that book.” His eyes rested on the book clutched in the girl’s hands.

“What? Why do you need my book?!”

“Not my rules, kid!” he chirped, then wrinkled his nose. _Well, that sounded vaguely like a certain triangle…_ “I can’t stay corporeal for too long unless you give a little something up. And for a few hours at a convention, honestly, I might need more than just a book.”

The girl bit her lip.

“Come on, Dani, it’s not like we have another shot at this!” Cory urged, tugging the book from her hands. “It’s just an old textbook, anyway!”

“But I paid a lot for that,” she whined. “Textbooks are _expensive_ , and that one’s a first edition copy!”

“Eh, we’ll get you another, okay?” Cory muttered, holding the book out to Dipper.

“Summoning textbook, first edition? Even better,” he said, hands passing through the barrier of the circle to take the book. He ran a hand over the cover. “Hm. You’ve done a lot of extra writing in this,” he commented, flipping open to a random page.

“Yeah, it’s been mine for three years,” Dani muttered sourly. “But…” She scowled. “Ugh. Fine.”

Dipper grinned-he couldn’t take payment unless the owner was willing, but that was all he needed. “Mine now,” he said casually, snapping it shut, and the book disappeared in a quick flash of blue. “How ‘bout you all buy me dinner while we’re at it?” he quipped, setting his feet back on the floor and holding his hand out.

“Uh, like… you’re talking about _human_ food, right?” the tall girl-Lina-asked warily. Dipper snorted.

“Yeah, human food. Don’t worry. A cheeseburger. I would _love_ a cheeseburger.”

“Um… sure, I guess. _Just_ one meal, though, okay?” she said cautiously.

Dipper nodded. “Shake on it, then. Come on, if you know how to summon a demon, you know how to finalize a deal.”

Cory shrugged, grasping Dipper’s hand, and blue fire spread between the two. “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” they muttered, staring at their hand. Dipper repeated the process with the other two, then glanced expectantly at the last person still huddled by the door.

“No way,” the person rasped. “I’m twenty-two. I’m not making deals with demons when I’ve got an ID in my pocket.” They quickly threw the closet door open and disappeared through.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. “Well. Okay. Are we good? Yes? All right then,” he said, and took a (slightly) hesitant step forward, slipping out of the chalk summoning circle. He flexed his hand experimentally, then poked his own cheek to verify. _Yep, tangible._ “I think I’ve got about…” He tilted his head, counting on his fingers as he tried to analyze the energy holding him tangible. “Three hours? Give or take.”

“All righty, then,” Cory said gleefully, grabbing the candles and stuffing them into their backpack. “Let’s go!”

As soon as they slipped out the door, Dipper grinned. “Oh, this is _cool_ ,” he exclaimed, eyes roving over the banners set up in the convention center lobby. “It’s like half paranormal convention, half conference!”

Cory, Dani, and Lina stared at him.

“Um… what?”

“You’re just… well, you don’t imagine all-powerful demons going to old-school paranormal conventions,” Dani mumbled.

_Dang it. Come on, oh mighty Alcor, you effing dork._ “Oh, come on. Omniscience, you know. I know _everything_ ,” Dipper said hastily, clearing his throat and tapping his forehead.

“Whatever, man,” said the taller girl. Dipper huffed.

“Pfft. _Yeah_ , whatever.” he said rather lamely, and quickly turned to stroll toward the entrance. “So, uh, anyway. Why does this convention have an age limit anyway?” he asked casually as the employees’ expressions went suspiciously blank.

“You have to be over 21 to buy a lot of the demonology equipment,” Cory supplied. “Trust me, we looked it up. It’s literally _just_ that. They aren’t even serving alcohol here. Uh, not that we were going to, um, get any anyway,” they stammered quickly as Dipper shot them a glare. “It’s ridiculous, though. Students can get demonology supplies through schools if that’s their focus anyway.”

Lina rolled her eyes. “They don’t want stupid kids tryin’ to summon a demon for something stupid like-”

“Sneaking into demonology conventions from a broom closet?” Dipper snickered.

“ _No_. Like getting rid of pimples or something,” she grumbled as they walked into the main hallway.

“Whoa, little man. Nice Alcor costume!” shouted a passing attendee.

Dipper blinked. “Um, actually, it’s not a-” He paused. “Actually… _yeah_ , thanks! I worked _really_ hard on it,” he said zealously, prompting a groan from Dani.

“D-do we really have to keep him with us?” she muttered.

“No take-backsies!” Dipper chirped, twirling so his coattails fluttered behind him. “ _Now_! I would absolutely _love_ to take a look at the vendors’ room. What do you all say?”

“Uh-” Cory started.

“Great! Let’s go!” Dipper said exuberantly, turning around and starting off, then letting out a slight “Grrk!” as the taller girl seized the back of his collar and yanked him back.

“ _Alcor_ , we said you could tag along. Not lead the entire way,” she growled.

Dipper flailed his hands. He didn’t need to breathe anymore, but nonetheless, having his windpipe constricted still triggered a degree of instinctual flailing. “Finefinefine! Lemme go!”

“Tch.” She dropped him. “Anyone have a convention program?”

“Yeah, here,” Cory said, fishing a wad of paper out of their pocket. “List of programs.”

“Can we go to the Latin seminar?” Dani asked.

“If you want to go, it’s in room 214. I think we’ll go to… oh, how about 'A History of Demons’?”

Dipper groaned.

“Yes, let’s _definitely_ do that one,” she said with a grin. “Cory?”

Cory blinked slowly, catching on. “Yeah,” they said slowly, a matching smirk sliding onto their face. “Yeah, I could really use some brushing up on my history, you know.”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “You know, I _am_ borderline omniscient. If you want to know something, you could just-ack!” He yelped as the tall girl yanked him down the hallway.

“Don’t think so, _Alcor_ ,” she said wryly. “You wanted to tag along, didn’t you?”

Dipper scowled. “You can’t _do_ that, I didn’t mean you could just drag me to wherever-”

“Too late! You said we couldn’t ditch you, which means we have to take you with us! For a demon, that is one rather obvious bit of loophole you missed there,” she lectured, dragging Dipper to a door with Cory hot in pursuit and seized the handle. “Come on!”

-*-

“And that, as you can see, is a brief summary of Alcor’s involvement in the Transcendence,” stated a middle-aged woman in a tweed jacket, gesturing to a Powerpoint slide.

Dipper groaned audibly.

“And if you’ll notice, the demon’s forms and symbolic messages tend to take after the more terrifying ones,” she continued, flipping to a blurry picture of one of the lakes in Gravity Falls. “In this instance, you can see that _here_ -”

Dipper groaned again, louder.

The woman coughed. “ _As you can see_ , here we have a slight glimpse of what could possibly be-”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Dipper groaned even louder. Cory flapped their hands at him hurriedly.

The woman stared at him, then smacked her hand on the wall where the projected image of the lake was. “If you look closely, there are symbols all over Gravity Falls that correspond to- _can I help you?_ ” she said acidly, staring at Dipper, who had let out a strangled wail and slid down in his seat.

“Um, yes, actually, I’d just like to point out that, oh, I don’t know, Alcor hardly _existed_ pre-Transcendence?”

The woman adjusted her jacket and cleared her throat. “Actually, young man, I-”

“You just put up a picture of the island-head instead of the _actual_ pine forest, where those symbols are actually found,” Dipper said, sounding bored. “Also, triangles were never an official symbol of Alcor’s,” he added sourly.

“I _beg your pardon_ -”

“You’ll find stars to be a lot more meaningful,” he said, talking right over her, “and furthermore, you _probably_ shouldn’t assume monster forms are the only scare tactic available. Demons use a combination of scare tactics. In fact, attitude can be a lot scarier than-what are you doing?” he asked bluntly as the woman muttered something into her lapel.

The woman straightened her jacket smugly before giving a little cough. “ _Ahem._ Security will be here shortly to escort you out,” she said sweetly. “Thank you for coming to A History of Demons.”

“What?! Your stuff isn’t even right! I should know! I-”

“ _Shut the heck up_ ,” snapped Lina, seizing his elbow and dragging him into the aisle. “Sorry about this, he’s a bit, um… attention-y,” Lina said halfheartedly, pulling Dipper along. Dipper clicked his tongue, annoyed. “We’ll leave now. No need for security. Sorry again!” Lina threw Dipper out the door ahead of Cory, and quickly closed the door behind them.

“ _Are you serious?!_ ” Lina snarled.

Dipper grimaced and swallowed. “Seriously, though, she had a bunch of stuff wrong! Alcor didn’t even really exist until after the Transcendence, and the whole triangle thing wasn’t his, it was Bill Cipher’s, and-”

“And you almost got us _thrown out_! If security finds us and we don’t have IDs, what do you think will happen, huh? What is your deal?! Just keep your trap shut!” she snapped.

Dipper scowled. “No.”

Lina’s mouth twitched.

“Hey guys?”

“Why did we _actually_ think inviting you would be a good idea?” Lina snarled.

“Earth to you two! Jenny and Dani are back from the Latin thing!” Cory snapped.

Dipper glared at Lina, then turned away. “Why couldn’t _they_ have dragged me to the Latin thing? Dead languages are more interesting than _incorrect history_ , especially when you’re being such a prude about it,” he snapped, prompting another solid glare.

Cory coughed. “Whatever, guys. Let’s go to the vendor’s thing and then get food.”

-*-

A few trips 'round the vendors’ room later, Dipper was sporting a new pair of gloves, Lina had a new charm set, Cory had new (matching) candles, and Dani had bought a summoning guide to replace the textbook.

“Hey, man! Nice Alcor getup!”

“Why, _thanks_!” Dipper said gleefully, a grin splitting his face from ear to ear as the small group he was tagging along with let out a collective groan for the fifth time that hour. Apparently, a lot of people recognized Dipper (or, technically, Alcor), and while he found it wonderful and exhilarating to be able to walk around casually, his group was finding him increasingly intolerable.

“Remind me why you all wanted to invite a _demon_?” Jenny rasped to Lina, lagging behind the rest.

“Because my friends are stupid butts,” she said darkly.

“Heard that,” said Cory. Dani echoed them.

“Aw, come on, guys! Cheer up! They have… _cheeseburgers_!” Dipper exclaimed, pointing excitedly to a concession window. “Come on come on come on! I want a cheeseburg-”

“I will get you a cheeseburger if you shut up,” Lina said flatly, jabbing him painfully in the chest. Dipper blinked and nodded mutely. “ _Good_. What the heck kind of self-respecting demon gets that excited over a damn cheeseburger…” She stalked off.

Cory shrugged, spying around for an open table. “Over there.”

“So then,” Dipper echoed once everyone was settled. “What other events are going on?”

Dani dug the wad of paper out of her pocket and spread it out on the table. “Um, there’s Summoning 101: Troubleshooting Your Circles… Runes and Cryptology… ooh, there’s a workshop on proper candlemaking,” she said eagerly.

“How about this one? Symbols in Spellcasting?” Dipper asked, pointing. “That one oughtta be good.”

“Yeah, but we’re demonology students, not spellcasters,” Cory said lazily, putting their feet up on the chair beside them.

Dipper sighed. “Well, demonology and summoning kind of is spellcasting, actually,” he said. “It’s just a really specific branch of it.”

“I guess. I say we go to the candlemaking thing.”

“How about the workshop on warding, too?” Dani asked. “I could use some work on wards.”

“Hey, your summoning circle was pretty good, though,” Dipper said. “I mean, would’ve been better if you’d had the proper tools… some nicer candles, maybe some magnetic chalk…”

“ _Magnetic_ chalk? Does that do anything?”

Dipper shrugged. “I think it does. Other demons seem to have different opinions on it. It’s kind of weird.”

“Uh. Weird. Thanks. That’s not really warding, though.”

“Well, for a beginner, and since you’re not getting where I’m going with this…” He leaned forward, eyes glowing as he neared her. “You might want to get some better supplies, or a demon’s going to come along and pop your circle like a _soap bubble_ one day.” He sat back, eyes returning to normal. “But, you know, I’m sure it’ll be fiiiine.” He paused. “But no, seriously. Get better supplies. If you keep putting energy into shoddy circles, your luck’ll end up running out.”

Dani shrank back, then nodded vigorously as Lina returned with an armful of plates and food. “Oh, good. I’m starving.”

Dipper immediately seized the plate with his cheeseburger on it and bit into the burger with gusto. “ _Mmmm_.”

“You act like you haven’t eaten a cheeseburger before,” Cory joked, plucking a fry and smothering it in ketchup.

“Well, I haffnt-” He held up a finger, swallowed, then continued. “Haven’t-or, well, no, that’s obviously a lie, I have, but not in a _really_ long time,” he said, taking another bite as soon as he was done talking. “I aan’t-” Chew, swallow, talk. “I can’t exactly… touch stuff a lot of the time, being intangible and all that.” He took another bite.

Cory looked up, surprised. “Really? Like how long?”

“Umm…” Dipper swallowed. “Oh, man, I haven’t had a hamburger in _months_.”

“Wow.” Dani picked absentmindedly at her salad. “Can we buy supplies here in the vendors’ room?”

Dipper shook his head. “Get it from school, kid,” he said. “There’ll be a lot better and less expensive stuff in your school classes. Just… um, snag some.”

Dani nodded sagely. “Um… thanks, I guess.”

“Mno froblem,” Dipper said past a mouthful of hamburger. Cory laughed.

“What kind of candles are the best? My aunt said you should use different candles for different summonings and spells, like she always uses cinnamon-scented-”

“ _Please_ do not use scented candles for summoning,” Dipper groaned. “Parrafin wax does best.”

“Really? Huh. She always says it 'adds to the flavor’ or something.”

Dipper scowled. “If a spell or summons-actually, no, never do this for summons-calls for cinnamon, you can use cinnamon candles as a quick fix, but seriously, that’s lazy and shoddy, and if you do that in a summons, something’s gonna go wrong.”

“What about different rune fonts?” Dani asked eagerly. “My textbook had multiple styles, but didn’t say much on what the differences were.”

“Oh! Can you do some sort of demon trick?” Cory added. Dipper laughed.

“Um, so long as the rune is legible, it shouldn’t matter, and, uh, what exactly do you mean? You’ve heard the voice echo thing.”

“Yeah, but make something float or something!”

“Uh, you really want me doing something like that in public?” Dipper asked with a smirk. “How about something else?”

“Like?”

“Oh, I dunno,” said a voice from behind Lina.

“Oh, _shi_ -” Cory choked back a yelp as Dipper popped into existence on the other side of the table. “Oh, okay, floating something is a problem but freaking _teleporting_ is just flippin’ fine-”

“I’m going to get a drink,” Lina grumbled.

-*-

When she came back, she was greeted by a sight none other than Alcor trying to balance a box of fries on his nose.

“ _What_ are you doing?” she ground out.

“You’ll never guess it! He balanced my soda on his nose! We’re trying to see if he can get the whole box of fries now,” Cory said jubilantly, taking another fry and placing it precariously atop the box on Dipper’s nose.

“You’re going to spill it all,” Lina said flatly.

“No I’m not,” Dipper managed thickly, grinning and trying not to move his nose. “M'back hurts! Put the rest of them on there quickly!”

Cory giggled and put another fry up. “Almost there!”

Jenny rolled her eyes as Cory quickly balanced two more. “Bunch of children,” she muttered.

Lina groaned, grabbing her soda and empty plate and stalking around the table. “Dani, text me when you’re done,” she muttered.

Dani nodded, stabbing the last bit of her salad. “The next thing’s about to start, you guys,” she said.

“Which one are we going to? I want to go to the candlemaking thing,” Cory said.

“Fine by me,” Dani replied, grabbing her plate.

“Wait wait! I don’t want to make candles!” Dipper said.

Or, that is what he _would_ have said, had Lina not walked by and accidentally bumped his knee, causing the fry tower to come toppling down. Dani jumped as fries went all over the floor, at which point Cory threw their arms out to catch the paper box and knocked Jenny’s soda flying, which hit another attendee straight in the face, which made Jenny jump and spill her popcorn.

Cory grinned sheepishly as Dipper sat up, rubbing his nose.

Lina glared. “You all are hopeless.”

-*-

In the end, someone called security again, and since none of them had their IDs except for Jenny, the five of them found themselves sitting on the concrete steps outside the convention lobby.

“Well, that was a bust,” Lina grumbled finally.

“Aw, come on, I still had fun! What about you guys?” Dipper asked, grinning widely.

“I wanted to make candles,” Dani said sourly.

“ _I_ had fun,” Cory said ardently. “Come on, you all. We snuck into a demonology convention, I still got these little chalk pencil freebies, and we got _freakin’ Alcor the demon_ -and dude, you’re totally cool, by the way-to tag along with us and get kicked out for an inadvertent food fight?! This was one heck of a day!”

Jenny scowled. “I’m going home,” she muttered, standing up and flipping the hood of her jacket up. “Any of you losers want a ride?”

“I can help you all get home, too,” Dipper offered. Jenny swiveled around to look at him warily.

“I wouldn’t trust him,” she said gruffly. “He’s a godforsaken demon. Y'wanna deal your soul away for a car ride, fine.” She turned to go.

“Don’t mind her. She’s always so stuffy,” Cory whispered to Dipper. He snorted.

“I won’t charge you, you know. Not for a ride home. I _did_ sort of get you all kicked out,” he said sheepishly. “I don’t think I’d have to charge you, anyway, since our original bargain was for three hours, and we got to stay for two. It’s… kind of a weird balancing thing.” He stood and stretched.

“Why so nice?” Lina asked suspiciously, squinting up at him. “We didn’t deal for three hours specifically.”

“Nah, but I’ve still, um… well, I still… have an hour or so left of _this_ ,” he said, flailing an arm around.

“Tangibility?” Cory guessed, and Dipper nodded.

“I might as well make use of it while I can. Plus, getting you all kicked out wasn’t part of the bargain, so in a way, you could think about it as if I owe _you_ a tiny favor.” He frowned. “Very tiny. Car ride tiny. Don’t get any ideas.”

Cory snorted. “And you’re not actually trying to con us out of our souls or anything?”

Dipper chuckled. “I’ve never even-ah, I mean, this isn’t even a formal deal, which is what we’d have to do for anything big enough to involve _souls_ ,” he said dismissively.

“I’ll bite,” Cory said happily. “Why not?”

“I’ll walk,” Lina said curtly. “Dani?”

“Um… I don’t know. I might just have my sister pick me up here,” she said.

Dipper shrugged. “Suit yourselves. Dani, be sure to get better equipment. Lina… um. See ya. Or, you know, not,” he muttered as Lina scowled. “Anyway. Cory?” He offered his hand.

Cory blanched. “I thought you said this wasn’t a formal deal.”

“What? Oh-oh, no, I just have to have physical contact to do teleports,” he said quickly. “We’re not shaking, like, on a deal. You can touch my arm if you want.” He rolled his sleeve up.

“Oh. Oh. Uh, good. Gave me a scare, there.” Cory hesitated. “Lina? Dani? You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Lina said doubtfully. Dani nodded.

“All righty, then. Um, I live-”

Dipper chuckled. “I, ah, know where you live,” he said lightly, tapping his forehead. “Near-omniscience, remember? You’ll have to forgive me, though,” he said, automatically rising an inch or so into the air as he checked his the energy holding him tangible. “Kind of have to turn the power back on first…” He leaned his neck to either side, then cracked his knuckles. “Ready?”

“Your voice is echoing again,” Cory said, looking at him oddly.

Dipper frowned, settling his feet back on the ground. “Um… well, yeah. Comes with the whole demon thing.”

“Right,” Cory muttered, looking far less confident, but they reached out and hesitantly grasped Dipper’s wrist. “If this is a trick-”

“ _Trust me_ , it’s not,” he said with finality, mentally looking up Cory’s address and setting a path. “And a-one, and a-two, and a-” He shifted his own energy out of the physical plane with a heave, pulling Cory along with him, and let the path he set pull them along, and in a blink of an eye, they were standing in a gravel driveway.

“Told ya!” Dipper said triumphantly. “No tricks-um, are you all right?”

Cory mechanically released Dipper’s wrist, nodded once, then leaned over and promptly emptied their stomach into the nearest bush.

“Oh. Right. The whole, um, teleporty thing… takes some getting-used-to.”

-*-

When Cory had recovered enough to talk without turning slightly green, the two sat on the porch.

“Hey.”

“Hey what?”

“Do you-um, do you mind if I take off a bit before the three hours are up?” Dipper asked. Mabel was probably already plotting murder for missing pancake dinner.

“Uh, I don’t really care. I’m kind of surprised you’ve stuck around this long anyway.”

“Eh, implied terms of the contract was that I’d tag along with you all for the full three hours,” he said dismissively.

“Oh. 'Kay.” Cory yawned. “I still had fun. You are _really_ different than I imagined you’d be.”

“Oh, am I?”

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Cory said emphatically. “Alcor is in, like, history books and stuff. I imagined you’d be all stuffy and dramatic… well, like how you were before you sort of knocked half the closet shelves over. Um… you are Alcor, right? We didn’t accidentally summon some knockoff demon?” they asked warily.

Dipper snorted. “Yeah, I’m Alcor. The one and only,” he said dryly, allowing his physical form to flicker for a moment. “If you want to make sure, though-”

“Uh, no, no no, um, I’m fine,” Cory said quickly, eyes going wide as the demon’s appearance flickered from dapper to fully inky black and back again. “Dude, that’s freaky.”

“Oh, _that_ is? That’s nothing.” Dipper grinned, corners of his mouth going far wider than normal, his eyes flickering to a full black.

“Oh, _holy shi_ -um, dude, seriously, that’s freaking me out.”

“Oh. Um, sorry.” Dipper grimaced and flickered back to normal. “Ehm, demon stuff.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“Anyway.”

“Anyway.” They sat in silence for a moment.

Dipper finally heaved a sigh. “I did actually, uh, have fun, though. I don’t really get to… hang out with other people much, especially not people my own age.”

Cory’s mouth went a little lopsided. “Own age? Dude, I thought you were like-”

Dipper coughed. “I mean, um, apparent… age?” he said weakly. “I mean…”

Cory snorted. “Okay, no judgment, but seriously? I thought you were, like, 2000 years old.”

Dipper hesitated. “Well, there’s the omniscience thing, which probably counts for, like, a fair bit right there.”

“When were you born?”

“Um… well, I’m 18.”

“Dang.” Cory sat back. “That’s pretty young for the demon that caused the freaking Transcendence. And-wait! That means you _did_ exist before the Transcendence!”

Dipper coughed again. “Um, well, I didn’t _cause_ it, exactly,” he said. “That was sort of a guy named Bill Cipher. Sort of. It’s a really long story,” he said, waving his hand. “And, um, _Alcor_ as in _Alcor the demon_ didn’t exist before the Transcendence.”

Cory glanced at him. “Wait up. Were you a _human_ before all this?”

Dipper hesitated, then gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not important. What is important, though,” he said, floating upward and around to face Cory, “is that my time’s kind of running out.”

Cory blinked at the demon now hovering in front of them. “Oh. Right. Sorry. You probably should get going, then.”

“Yeah. But, um, hey, man. It was… it was pretty nice hangin’ out with you.”

“Same.”

Dipper looked to the side uncomfortably. “Also, hey, uh. If you… don’t mind giving up another book sometime, um-”

“What, give you a call…?” Cory asked.

Dipper frowned. “Like, if you want to… h-hang-”

Cory stared at him. “Hang out again?” they said cautiously, expression guarded.

“I guess. Never mind. Sorry I said anything. I know it’s weird when someone like a demon asks that, okay? Sorry. I’ll go now. I didn’t mean anything by it and I wasn’t trying to trick you into a deal and I am seriously not interested in stealing your soul and I just thought that maybe you wouldn’t mind sacrificing a book once in a while but now that I’m thinking about this it sounds like I’m trying to trick you, doesn’t it, so I’ll just go now okaythanksbye.” Dipper spat the entire thing out in one breath, then abruptly disappeared, leaving a rather bewildered Cory in his wake.

-*-

Dipper set a path for home, and yawned as he floated through the front door.

“Dipper! Where were you? You missed pancake dinner! I made pancake fries!” Mabel crowed, kicking her feet as she sat on the sofa. She patted the space next to her.

“Oh, hey, Mabel,” Dipper sighed, shrugging his coat off and gently setting on the back of the sofa. “Um, sorry. The… summoning took longer than I thought it would.”

Mabel’s smile lessened a little. “Bro-bro, you okay?”

Dipper nodded absently, flopping down onto the sofa and brushing a tiny remnant of baking soda off his knee. “Yeah, I’m doing fine.”

“Pthbbbt.” Mabel blew him a raspberry. “Naw, what’s up? What happened at the summoning?”

“ _Nothing_.”

Her smile dropped off her face immediately. “Was it another cult kidnapping kids?” she asked quietly.

“What? No. No, thank goodness it wasn’t.” Some of the stuff cults did would put him in a slump for days. “No, it was just a couple of teens.”

“Another ID thing?” Mabel asked suspiciously.

“No.”

“Then what?” she prodded. “Come on, Dip-dip. Talk to me.”

Dipper grabbed a blanket from off the back of the couch. “Just a couple teens who wanted to hang out at an over-21 thing.”

Mabel flapped a hand at him. “Why’d it take so long, then?”

“I… I may have… asked if I could… um, hang out with them,” Dipper mumbled.

Mabel fixed her eyes on her brother. “ _Really_ …?”

“Mabel, before you start in on anything, let me just say that I seriously needed to get out and do something, okay?” Dipper said quickly. “I haven’t been tangible in over a week. And trust me, being able to touch you is _definitely_ one of the good things each day but I just…” He shuffled around on the couch, frustrated. “I sometimes _hate this_ ,” he snapped, voice accidentally flanging into an echo. “Oops. Um, sorry.”

“Hey, 'least you’re not making the walls ooze blood anymore,” Mabel said with a halfhearted grin. Dipper didn’t say anthing and pulled the blanket up to his nose.

“Look. What I meant is that… It just gets really tiring, not being able to do certain things anymore. Like… like hang out with people,” he mumbled. “I know you guys all try to make it as easy as possible and accommodate me here and everything, which-seriously, you guys have made this a lot easier to handle,” he said, pulling the blanket even tighter around himself, “but the whole… you know, _being a demon_ thing kind of gets in the way sometimes.”

Mabel sighed. “I know, bro. I know.” She leaned over and bopped him on the nose. “Did you have fun, though?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah, but I kind of messed it up at the end. I… may have tried to ask if we could hang out again, and I am pretty 99% sure the kid thought I was setting up for a con or some sort of trick.” He sank down into the couch cushions.

“Aw, Dipper,” Mabel sighed. “Ugh. People just don’t know it’s you under all the demony stuff,” she said, wrapping him up in a hug. “It’ll be okay.”

Dipper’s hands phased through the blanket to return the hug, making Mabel giggle.

“You look like you’re wearing a Snuggie,” she said. Dipper rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

“Besides. You and I still have some business to tend to,” she said.

“Hm? Is that so?”

“You promised me you’d play Street Racers 2 the other day. And I already beat your high score!”

Dipper smirked, allowing his mouth to stretch wide, far past a normal human smile. “Is that a _challenge_?” he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“Oh, mighty Alcor, I challenge you to a greatest _battle of skill_!” Mabel cried, leaping off the couch and seizing the game’s CD case off the TV. “The one… the only… STREET RACERS 2!”

Dipper chuckled, then deepened his voice and floated up off the couch dramatically, the blanket falling away. “ _You dare challenge me, the mighty Alcor?_ ” he echoed. “ _Many have tried, but none have succeed_ -oh, crap,” Dipper muttered dully as the lightbulbs in the room shattered. Mabel cracked up laughing.

“KIIIDS!” came the inevitable screeching of their Great-Uncle Stan. “NO MAGICKY STUFF WHEN I’M TRYING TO GO TO SLEEP!”

“Pthbbt, your fault,” Mabel said cheekily.

“ _Mabel_ , you were the one who started it-”

“I’m not the one who started to go all dramatic!” she sang.

“What?! Yes you were!”

“Noope!”

“Ugh! Grunkle Stan! It’s her fault! She started it!”

“Nooope!” Mabel sang, prancing around the room. “And someone’s going to have to go reset the breaker in the fusebox-oh, hi, Grunkle Stan!”

Aforementioned Grunkle Stan stood in the doorway blearily. “You kids and your demon stuff,” he grumbled, flicking a flashlight on and stalking to the kitchen. “Dipper, seriously, can we get through _one_ week without me having to replace something in this house?”

Dipper winced. “Sorry, Grunkle Stan.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” the older man grumbled, flicking one of the fuses in the pantry. “You two go to bed already.”

“Dipper doesn’t really sleep anymore, though-”

“ _You know what I mean._ ”

Mabel giggled. “Aw, we were gonna play a game-”

“It’s nine PM.”

“Yeah! Plenty of time! You go to bed _way_ too early, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel stated.

Stan slammed the fusebox door closed, then stomped his way back through the living room. “Spare lightbulbs are in the cabinet next to the sink,” he said gruffly, and left.

“Mmm… I might as well do that,” Dipper said thoughtfully, reaching a hand out, and soon, a box of lightbulbs came bobbing through the doorway. “I’ve still got, like, fifteen minutes of… tangibility or whatever. I can do it faster than you, anyway,” he said smugly, twitching his fingers and sending the lightbulbs to hover near the various light fixtures in the room.

“Plus you broke the old ones,” Mabel added, flicking the TV on and putting in the game disk. “We’re gonna have to get a new TV again soon, too,” she said, glancing at the screen, which was flickering between color and grayscale.

Dipper winced again, twitching his fingers to guide the old, broken lightbulbs out of their sockets. “Oops. I mean, at least bursting the lightbulbs doesn’t completely break the TV,” he mused as he mentally nudged each of the new lightbulbs into place.

“Grunkle Stan’s gonna be mad,” Mabel giggled.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

-*-

-a week later; optional additional ending-

“MABEL.” Dipper’s voice boomed throughout the house.

“Is someone summoning you again? Do _not_ come in here and sneeze on my omelette,” she complained.

“Again! _Again_! First it was, like, twelve times last week, and now what?! It’s only Wednesday _again_ and I’ve gotten almost seven!”

“Do not sneeze on my omelette!” Mabel wailed as her brother floated through the door.

“Ugh, I’m not going to. I’ll try to make this one quick.”

“Good luck, bro-bro!”

-*-

“ _WHO DARES SUMMON THE MIGHTY ALCOR?_ ” Dipper rose through the floor of the summoning circle dramatically, snuffing the candles and spreading his arms to cast a dramatic shadow throughout the room.

“Um, yeah, hey, Alcor. I’ve got this summoning chart thingy that I can’t figure out,” said a voice from behind him.

Dipper spun around. “What?”

“Hey, dude.” Cory waved, sitting cross-legged on the bed. “Oh, here. I almost forgot.” They grabbed an old, tattered-looking book sitting beside them. “Found it at my grandma’s house. Think that’ll buy some time?” They tossed it at the demon.

Dipper gaped, arms coming up robotically to catch the book, and he automatically rifled through it. “One hour, tops,” he said, still staring at Cory. “Um, what-?”

Cory shrugged. “I kind of put it together. 18-year-old demon who was once human-oh, come on, it’s obvious-and hardly gets any time to interact with the physical world?” They scoffed. “Can you, um, not do the weird smiley thing or the eye trick, though? That’s kinda off-putting.” They frowned. “And seriously, dude, you do _anything_ to make me question this, and you’re not comin’ back.”

Dipper continued to stare blankly, then finally blinked, shook his head, and snapped the book shut, engulfing it in blue flame. “Um. I thought you thought I was trying to trick you.”

“Well, you _are_ a demon,” Cory said loftily, standing up from the bed. “I was thinking about it, though, and… you don’t ever plan or do anything against me and I won’t ever make you stay inside the summoning circle. Deal?”

Dipper hesitated. “Um-”

“And you don’t collaborate with other people or do anything that might result in hurting me in any way,” Cory added. “See, I’ve been working on this one for a while. Rule of summoning: 'Keep general, avoid loopholes,’” they recited.

Dipper nodded. “Are you-are you serious?”

“Oh, and it’d be nice if you’d help me with my homework every now and then. If you do, I’ll make sure I have a book for you each time.”

Dipper grinned. “Deal.”

Cory winced. “The smiley thing.”

“Oh. Um, sorry. Sort of habit when I’m settling on a deal.”

“Mmm… yeah. So.” Cory stuck their hand out. “Like I said. Deal?”

“Deal,” Dipper said, sticking his hand through the barrier, and blue fire flared briefly between the two.

“So anyway, about those circle diagrams…”

-*-

-and a bonus!-

“Hey, Mabel. Cory’s calling me again,” Dipper yelled down the stairs.

“All right! HEY! You better not miss pancake dinner again!” Mabel yelled back furiously.

“All right, all right! I won’t!” Dipper yelled back, then closed his eyes and shifted out of the physical plane.

It was unnecessary, but he liked practicing new dramatic lines anyway, so he rose through the floor dramatically, snuffing out the candles as he went.

“ _WHO DARES TO SUMMON ME, THE GREAT AND POWERF_ -wait, what?” Dipper said blankly, staring at the candles, which were sparking slightly.

Cory snickered in the background.

Dipper frowned, waving a hand to put out the candles again. A moment later, they sparked and a flame leapt back to life.

“Oh, very funny,” Dipper said dryly, eyeing the trick candles with disdain as he swiveled around to face Corey. “Not childish at all.”

Cory let out a full laugh. “Hey, Al. I kinda just wanted to see if they’d work.” They giggled again as the trick candles’ flames went out, then popped back into existence.

“Hilarious- _ouch_ ,” Dipper muttered as a book hit him squarely in the stomach.

“Catch,” Cory said belatedly.

“Ha _ha_ ,” Dipper said, grinning as he bent over to rifle through the book. “Oh, whoa. Where’d you get this one?”

“Library was having a clear-out. I bought some old books. Why, is it really cheap?”

“Nah, this is like _four hours’_ worth!” Dipper exclaimed. “Use a different one this time. I don’t want to use that one yet.”

Cory snorted. “Picky demon. Here.” He lobbed an old math workbook through the air.

Dipper scowled at it. “Dude, this is, like, fifteen minutes. If even that.”

“Then have another one.” Another workbook went soaring through the air.

“Ha ha,” Dipper said, but swept the books up in flame nonetheless. Cory leaned over and poked a toe through the line of the circle, effectively breaking it.

“Hey, Cory? You wanna come visit for dinner sometime?”

Cory froze. “Visit for dinner? Like, your demon family or something? I don’t-”

“No, you dense twit. Just come over to me and my sister’s and my uncle’s house.”

“Where do you all live?”

“Gravity Falls.”

Cory snorted. “Of course you’d live at the freaking epicenter of the Transcendence, huh.”

“Well… yeah.”

“You _do_ realize we’re in Washington, DC, right?”

“You do realize I’m a demon, right?” Dipper asked, smirking.

“Eugh, the teleporty thing,” Cory groaned. “Yeah.”

“Just close your eyes and you’ll be fine. Plus, my sister is making pancakes.”

“Pancakes for dinner?”

“Um, yeah. Best to just go with it.”


End file.
